Moving can be hard, and it feels darned near impossible when you are packing “your half” of a life once spent with another soul. Big items will be discussed like pensions, splitting the proceeds of the house, and who gets the sports car; but we don’t always discuss who gets the crystal sugar bowl and the steak knife set.

Figuring this all out is highly emotional – we either want all of it, or we take only what we can get by with. The macaroni art that Bobby made in school when he was seven, the pink soup ladle your mother-in-law gave you as a joke, the silver picture frame your neighbours gave as an anniversary gift - suddenly, these items bring out a wave of emotions.

You are dying inside, but you put on a brave face when the kids are around. “It’ll be an adventure,” you say, smiling a big smile while tears are barely at bay. Must stay positive.

You look around the house – the sold sign is a stinging reminder to keep packing. You wonder how you got here, this place of flux. The fighting hasn’t stopped, the lawyer bills are racking up, and you worry about the well-being of the kids when they are with your former partner. Emotions are uncontrollably high.

So how do we navigate the added stressors that come with moving out during a divorce? Here are some tips:

Advance Funds: It’ll be near impossible for both parties to move out on the same day without tensions being high. If you can, have all parties agree to give equal funds to each other from savings or a line of credit to cover down payments or first and last month’s rent, and money to cover moving expenses. That way it’s fair, and both parties have the funds to secure their next move.

Secure Accommodations: You’ll want to know where you are going as soon as you can, and with monies in the bank to secure down payments or rent deposits, you can now arrange utilities, driver's license changes, mail forwarding, etc. Plus, it gives you time to arrange daycare and schools if necessary.

Move Out Early: Emotions are high, and they will be just as high on moving day. If you can, try to secure your next place earlier than closing day so that you can move in early. Just in case an argument starts over who gets the patio furniture, you’ll want that sorted out days (or even weeks) before the moving trucks get there.

Leave More Than You Take: I know – this one stings. You have to trust me when I tell you, that EVERYTHING will have a memory attached to it, and over time you won’t want the reminders of a previous life peeking over your shoulder. Taking more than your fair share doesn’t mean you won, it just means you have more stuff to move.

Certain items will be difficult to part with for both parties. Work with a legal professional or mediator and take the time to sort out high-stakes items and who gets what. Neither partner wants to spend the moving day arguing over the items in the home or later regret giving away something sentimental or expensive for the sake of keeping the peace.

Take Only What is Yours: Let’s face it, sometimes items end up in the wrong box or accidentally get left behind. Focus on taking only the items agreed to by both parties and return the items that were taken in error as quickly as possible so that it doesn’t ignite a new altercation.

Split the Cleaning: You want to leave a clean house for the new family moving in, so deciding who does what in final preparations is important. Having some friends in to help clean after moving day is easiest on the pocketbook. If that isn’t an option, perhaps agree to split the cost of a cleaning company to come in and wash the cupboards and appliances, vacuum the carpets and wash floors. Perhaps one party could be responsible for cleaning out the shed or garage, and the other for the gardens and lawn. Either way, establishing clear agreements about each party's responsibilities – even if performed on different days – will make closing day go much smoother.

Furry Family Members: We love our pets dearly, and the emotional support they provide during difficult times is truly invaluable. However, amid the urgency and chaos of moving day, pets may not understand what’s happening.

The packing, moving, and disrupted schedule, along with the presence of strangers and the noise of taking down and relocating items, can cause significant anxiety for them. The last thing you want during a divorce move is for your pet to be at risk of running out of the house, getting in the way, or feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Boarding your pet with a friend, vet, or daycare can ensure they are safe and content, making your moving day much smoother.

Once you have moved into your new place, let them take their time to acclimate to the new smells and new sounds. My senior dog, in his confusion, just went for a walk. I was standing in the kitchen, and he just left. Many hours later we found him on the front porch of our old home. It broke my heart, and I learned to just be patient with his confused state, giving him time to find “his spot” in a new home.

I think it is virtually impossible to take the stress out of a move. Add divorce into the mix and it’s virtually guaranteed to be taxing. But…with some planning, securing of funds, and establishing clear agreements on who takes what and when, you can reduce some of the tension.



Remember to prioritize your well-being and that of your children, and don’t forget to take care of your pets during the move. Leaving behind more than you take and focusing on creating a fresh start in your new space will help you move forward with less baggage—both literally and emotionally.